


The Human Condition

by candyharlot



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Drinking, KuroKen if you squint hard enough, M/M, Partying, Past Relationship(s), botanist!Ushijima
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-01
Updated: 2016-09-01
Packaged: 2018-08-12 09:07:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7928947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/candyharlot/pseuds/candyharlot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Don’t assume.” Ushijima shrugged his shoulders, and Kei tried not to notice the muscles straining against the soft fabric of his shirt. When he spoke, he had a way of making everything he said sound like fact. It was…comforting, in a way. “People get lonely. Some more easily than others, but that’s the human condition.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Human Condition

Tsukishima Kei wanted to get shit-faced, and he wanted to do it on this Friday night, the two-month marker since his break up with the cat-eyed bastard he'd been pouring his time and energy into for the last year. Originally, he'd planned on drinking at home, accompanied by his vinyl’s and subwoofer, laying on the floor absorbing the music along with copious amounts of alcohol.

Unfortunately, this plan had been thwarted when his best friend, Yamaguchi, invited him along to a mixer he said he was too socially awkward to endure alone. With a sigh and a reminder that he wasn’t much better at this kind of thing, Kei had agreed. 

When he came home from work that afternoon, Kei was struck by the overwhelming _emptiness_ of his new apartment. He was a minimalist by nature, but there was a huge difference between arranged sparseness and a place lacking character. To be fair, he'd just moved in a couple of weeks ago, and hadn't gotten a chance to buy new furniture. All of his furniture from…before hadn't been _his_ furniture, not really. He was planning a trip to the store when his next paycheck came in. Considering how much he’s been throwing himself into work lately, he hoped he’d be able to get some nice things.

In the meantime, he could at least try to interact with other humans, even if the idea filled him with an exhaustion he didn’t want to quantify. The mixer in question was for young professionals at his alma mater. Students, TA's and alumni were all invited, but professors occasionally showed up to these as well. Kei fell into the alumni category. While the event was mostly for education majors and other people in academia, Kei worked as an editor at a gaming magazine so he wouldn’t be too out of place. With any luck, most of the people he’d meet tonight would be strangers. Kei reasoned that if, IF he accidentally ended up making out with anyone - something he didn't plan on doing but had unfortunately happened before - at least he wouldn't get into too much trouble. 

Besides, the likelihood of _him_ being there was slim enough.

He went for his "I know I look damn good" outfit, a dark blue, almost black button-up along with a pair of gray slacks. They were freshly pressed and, unlike most of his pants, actually long enough to not look awkward. He'd be damned if he looked as shitty as he felt, as he _had_ felt for months. Unlike the pants, which he'd had tailored, the sleeves on the shirt were a bit short thanks to his longer than average arms, so he rolled them up to this elbows.

By the time Kei had finished spritzing his neck with green tea cologne, Yamaguchi was timidly knocking on his door.

He walked over and opened it before heading into the kitchen, where he poured himself a small glass of cold brew coffee. It would be what kept him going for the next several hours. Yamaguchi followed behind him slowly.

"Thanks for doing this, Tsuki," Yamaguchi mumbled, looking down at the tile and biting his lip. "I know you don't usually like these things. Especially since —”

"Shut up," Kei interrupted without much bite, downing the coffee like a shot and fixing his best friend with an exasperated stare. "I said I wanted to go, didn't I?"

Yamaguchi opened his mouth but shut it just as fast. Kei studied him for a minute. There were beads of sweat trickling down his temple. He wore black skinny jeans paired up with a black and white pinstripe shirt. His hair, which he'd grown out in recent years and usually wore down, was tied into a messy bun at the crown of his head. It accentuated his cheekbones and made his freckles stand out. His cartilage piercings glinted in the light of the kitchen.

He looked good.

"I'm glad," Yamaguchi finally said, with a nervous smile. Kei reached into the freezer and took a swig from a glass bottle before handing it to Yamaguchi. After a shocked blink, he took it and did the same.

"Let’s do this."

✾✾✾✾

Letting Yamaguchi have a shot of his Russian vodka had been a good decision, apparently. Kei watched with a slight smirk as his best friend chatted with a group of people, talking passionately about his senior thesis statement. He was smiling, and his shoulders had relaxed. It probably helped that he had a pretty blonde on his arm, hanging on his every word.

 _And to think he was worried._ Kei finished off his second gin and tonic in the span of ten minutes and headed to the open bar to make himself another one. Just like he had assumed, he hardly knew anyone here, and that was just as well. A few people - women, mostly - had approached him but none had stayed when they realized he wasn't going to sleep with them or hire them.

Girls were nice, sure, but he wasn’t about that life. To be honest, he wasn’t much about men, either, lately. People in general were exhausting. He felt…done. 

So far, Kei wasn’t a huge fan of what break ups did to people, what they did to him. While this wasn’t his first dip into the deep end of the relationship pool, it had certainly been the coldest. Frostbite was a term that came to mind.

His last excursion into the dating world had been a fluke, honestly. They had met at a work function, both editors for different magazines. Kei was still fuzzy on the details about how they had started dating, and became more confused every time he tried to understand why it had lasted as long as it did. How he had ended up living with the guy, with no furniture to his name. How he still had yet to pick up a box of vinyl’s and other trinkets.

How he still woke up in a cold sweat some mornings, reaching out for someone who wasn’t there.

The third gin and tonic disappeared quicker than anticipated. Kei, no stranger to the effects of too much gin, decided to go with something a little less potent. He walked into the kitchen and turned on the faucet, filling up his cup with tap water.

“There’s filtered water in the cooler,” came a cool, deep voice from behind him. “If you’d prefer it.”

Kei glanced over his shoulder and then turned around, leaning against the sink, his hands sliding along the smooth marble countertop. He found himself face to face with a stranger. 

After giving him a once-over, Kei decided that he wanted to change that. If it was the gin talking, it was a smooth talker, because he found himself quite taken with the gold-tinged hazel eyes staring back at him, along with the brawny sun-tanned body they were attached to. They were just as cool as his voice had been, immovable. It was quite the contrast, seeing as the rest of him seemed very…warm. Kei felt uncharacteristically shy.

Yep, this was definitely the gin talking. He went with it, or…tried to go with it, anyway.

“Thanks for the tip,” Kei managed, holding out his hand and willing it not to shake. “Tsukishima Kei.”

A large, calloused hand clasped his, and Kei felt heat unfurl in his stomach at the strength there. “Ushijima Wakatoshi. Are you a student?”

Kei let go and took a sip of the water. He felt like he was floating. He smirked over the rim of his glass. “No. Are you?”

“No.” Kei waited for him to say something more, but no further explanation came. Instead, the man, Ushijima, turned and looked out at the party and Kei followed his gaze.

The mixer itself was a semi-formal affair, and while there were a lot of people standing around, the venue was spacious enough to where it didn’t feel crowded. It was a two story house, with high windows and an open floor plan. The lighting was dim, with strings of lights wrapping along the bannisters, but not so dim that people couldn’t see each other’s faces. There were people outside, too, gathered around another wet bar and making a ruckus. Chill acoustic music wafted through the walls, not overbearing but enough to set a tone.

When Kei’s eyes returned to the man standing in front of him, Ushijima was taking a sip of what appeared to be whiskey or scotch, swirling it around a bit as he studied Kei’s face. “Would you like to sit with me?"

Kei blinked, straightening his glasses. There was something about the way this man stared at him, so direct and honest. It made his face feel hot. “S-Sure.” Goddammit, he was stuttering too? _Pathetic_ _._

After grabbing another drink for good measure, he followed Ushijima outside, where the air was decidedly less stuffy. They found a couple of wire chairs and an empty table a short distance from the bar, where a gaggle of people sat and chatted. For a while the two didn't say anything, just sipped their beverages and observed. Strangely enough, the silence between them wasn’t an awkward one. In fact, it was comfortable. Kei glanced out of the corner of his eye at his new acquaintance, intrigued but also enjoying the calm.

Strong square jaw, no-nonsense set to his mouth, thick eyebrows and close-cropped hair. He was handsome, in a plain kind of way. Even though he was shorter than Kei by at least an inch, it certainly didn’t feel that way. What he lacked in elegance he made up for with his eyes, the authoritative set of his broad shoulders. Kei both anticipated and dreaded being under that gaze again.

“If you’re not a student, then what _do_ you do?” Kei ventured, leaning back and bumping his leg against Ushijima’s unexpectedly solid thigh. He shivered, and not because of the evening breeze.

“Visiting professor,” Ushijima replied, taking a sip of his drink. It was mostly watered down now, but he didn't seem to mind. “I’m doing some research in the area and they wanted me to give a few lectures while I’m in town.” 

Kei leaned in closer, and caught a whiff of aftershave. Mint and sage were two scents that came to mind. It made him slightly dizzy in a good way. “Hmmm. What do you teach?" 

"Botany."

Kei nodded slowly. Wow, so this guy was a _mega_ -nerd. He supposed it made sense considering what he was wearing: fucking _overalls_ rolled up at the knee, a maroon Henley underneath rolled up to the elbows to show off his forearms. People were dressed in all kinds of things at this party, but he stood out. He looked like he just came in from the field. Kei imagined him wearing horn-rimmed glasses, the way he assumed a proper botanist should.

But something told Kei that this man could see perfectly fine. His gaze was sharp, piercing. It bore right into him.

Just like he was doing right now, with that same exact straightforward expression. 

Kei adjusted his collar, the heat in his face traveling further south.

Time to abort.

"So anyway," he said, quickly standing up, "I need to go find my friend, I have work early in the morning. It was nice meeting you, Ushijima-san." 

Ushijima stood up as well and nodded. "Have a safe—”

The rest of his words were lost, for it was then that Kei felt the hair on the back of his neck prickle, heard the unmistakable chuckle of the person he'd come here to forget about. Kei wasn’t able to hold back the ugly sneer that broke out across his face.

Kuroo Tetsurou was never really one to stay out of anything, and Kei realized that he’d been a dumbass to think that he would stay away from an event like this. Not when they had so many mutual friends milling around.

Kuroo was leaning against the bar and had his arm around someone, a boy at least a head shorter than him with black hair, bleached at the tips. He looked like he’d rather be anywhere else than at a party. That was, until Kuroo said something in his ear. Kei watched in horror as he looked up at Kuroo and an honest-to-god smile flitted across his morose face.

Kei’s heart was in his ears. As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t make himself move. _Please,_ _don’t_ _look_ _over_ _here,_ _don’t_ _look_ _over_ _here_ …

But Kuroo, being Kuroo, seemed to sense his frustration and did the exact thing Kei didn’t want him to do. He even smiled and waved, the bastard. How _dare_ he?

Kei did the only logical thing. He pounced on the man standing next to him, his handsome new acquaintance, Ushijima, the botanist, the guy in overalls, the —

 _Oh_ _._ Holy hell, this Ushijima guy was a pretty damned good kisser for someone who had been attacked by a near stranger, a drunk one at that. After freezing initially, he’d opened his mouth, accommodating Kei’s desperate enthusiasm with ease. Soon their lips were sliding together in a slow, deliberate rhythm. He even brought his hand up to cradle Kei’s head, fingers locking in curly blonde hair to steady him. _Such_ _a_ _nice_ _guy_ _._

By the time Ushijima pulled away, after what honestly felt like ages, Kei had nearly forgotten about the dark, Kuroo-shaped cloud hanging over him. The panic in his throat had subsided, and his mind felt hazy and warm, like someone had poured honey through a hole in his cranium.

Nearly.

“Kei!” The honey solidified, and suddenly everything felt heavy. Kei wanted to sink into the pavement under his feet, be swallowed up – “How are you doing?”

The only thing that saved Kei in that moment was Ushijima’s hand, light on his back. It felt like an anchor, and without it he probably would have lost his shit.

“Fantastic,” Kei muttered, his voice dripping with venom. It was all he could do not to scream. _Please leave…_

Since his eyes were downcast, Kei missed the way Kuroo smiled, a sad, apologetic sort of smile, the way he nodded at Ushijima. “Well, I hope you have a good rest of your night.” 

Kei didn’t answer him, couldn’t even if he had wanted to. Luckily, he didn’t have to. Kuroo was already walking away, back to his group of friends and presumably his new boy toy. 

That did it. Kei spun on his heel, determined to find a bathroom where he could puke his guts out. 

✾✾✾✾

When Kei emerged, he felt slightly more human. If only he could stop shaking. He hated throwing up, hated the feel and the taste of it in his mouth, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t feel better. 

He was vaguely aware of a dripping cold water bottle being pressed into his palm and his fingers slowly wrapped around it. After a moment, Kei adjusted his glasses and looked up only to meet those eyes again. 

Lo and behold, Ushijima was leaning against the wall by the bathroom door, arms folded across his chest. 

“You didn’t need to wait for me,” Kei snarled, struggling with the cap. Once he finally got it off, he chugged a third of the bottle, letting the cool water seep into his empty stomach. It felt awful, like icepicks tickling his insides, but he knew he would feel better later. 

The rude tone was completely lost on Ushijima. “I know. I wanted to,” he replied simply.

After letting those words sink in, Kei stood there and finished off the water bottle before chucking it in the nearest trashcan. He turned his attention to his new acquaintance, trying to ignore the headache trying to split his head open. The realization of what he’d done, how utterly tasteless it had been, how selfish, hit him. He really shouldn’t be allowed anywhere when drunk and heartbroken. “Listen, I—” 

Ushijima held his hand up and shook his head, silencing him. 

Slightly annoyed at being shushed but knowing his words would’ve come out garbled anyway, Kei leaned back against the wall, let his head fall back and attempted to gather his bearings. He wondered where Yamaguchi had run off to, if he had left already or not. Kei had told him to leave if he couldn’t find him at a certain time, so maybe he had. 

Kei pulled out his phone to check and sure enough:

 

 **Yamaguchi** **Tadashi** **[1:46** **am** **]**

 _I_ _couldn’t_ _find_ _you_   _at 1 am_ _so_ _I_ _left, since that’s what we’ve historically agreed on_ _._ _lmk_ _when_ _you_ _make_ _it_ _home_ _safe_ _!_ _Thanks_ _for_ _coming_ _out_ _with_ _me_ _!_ _Xoxo_

 

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he glanced over at Ushijima, who was looking at something on his own phone. The bright light from the screen lit up his face in the dim light of the hallway.

“Did you come here with anyone?” Kei asked.

Ushijima shook his head. “The only reason I came was to appease a colleague. They’ve long since left.”

Kei crossed his arms over his chest. He’d had to undo a few of the buttons on his shirt when he was leaning over the toilet, but he felt too weak to try to button them up again. His chest broke out in gooseflesh in the chill air of the house. “Then why are you still here?”

“I was concerned,” Ushijima replied, blinking up at him.

Ushijima really _was_ a nice guy. Kei felt simultaneously confused and relieved at his good fortune. He also took a moment to applaud his drunk self’s taste in men, because as he was sobering up, the botanist was just becoming more attractive.

Ushijima slipped his phone into the front pocket of those damned overalls. “Did your friend leave?” 

“Yes.” 

“Do you need a ride?” 

“Yes.” 

✾✾✾✾

Ushijima had driven to the party, as it turned out, in his decade-old SUV. Kei was insanely grateful for being able to sit in a car seat instead of trying to keep himself from throwing up more on a bus. He rested his forehead against the glass, savoring the cold against his warm skin. The car smelled…earthy, but crisp. He idly wondered if there were plants in the back. 

Kei must have passed out after giving Ushijima his address, because the next time he opened his eyes the car was parked in front of his apartment complex. He sat up slowly, scratching the back of his head. _Good job, Kei._  

Ushijima turned off the ignition and rested his forearms on the steering wheel. He turned to look at Kei. “Was that man your lover?” 

Always straightforward, wasn’t he? Kei took off his glasses and set them in his lap, running his clammy hands over his face. He wanted to reply with some snide remark, a _“Wow,_ _what_ _a_ _genius_ _you_ _are_ _._ _”_ But when he glanced over at Ushijima, he felt leveled. His shoulders sagged. 

“We broke things off a few months ago and it wasn’t…” Kei paused, swallowing. “It was kind of fucked up.” 

Ushijima made a noise of understanding, stroking his chin. “Well, both of you still have feelings. That much is plain to see.” 

Kei scoffed, acid bubbling up in his throat. “It seems like he’s over it to me.” 

“Don’t assume.” Ushijima shrugged his shoulders, and Kei tried not to notice the muscles straining against the soft fabric of his shirt. When he spoke, he had a way of making everything he said sound like fact. It was…comforting, in a way. “People get lonely. Some more easily than others, but that’s the human condition.” 

Kei nodded and bit his lip. If this conversation continued, he was going to get upset again. That was the very last thing he wanted to do in a car with someone he admittedly wanted to see again. As much as he itched to invite him upstairs, Kei knew in his bones that it would be a bad move. His hands still shaking slightly, he unbuckled his seatbelt and opened the car door. “Thank you for the ride, Ushijima-san.” 

Ushijima was digging something out of his wallet. He handed Kei a card. A business card. With his number on it. “Take care of yourself.” 

As Kei slowly made his way up the stairs to his apartment so as not to get dizzy, he tucked the card into his own wallet before pulling out his phone and texting Yamaguchi. 

 

 **Reply** **to** **:** **Yamaguchi** **Tadashi** **[2:32** **am** **]**

 _Sorry_ _I_ _disappeared_ _._ _Kuroo_ _showed_ _up, but I’m ok_ _._ _Made_ _it_ _home_ _safely_ _with_ _the_ _help_ _of_ _a_ _farmer_ _._

**Author's Note:**

> I fully blame hannah (ao3 user surveycorpsjean) and twitter user @concernedcactus for this. I had a million other things in mind for my first adventure into Haikyuu!! fanfiction and it ended up being a rarepair AU. also thanks to @ldiote and @notallbees for looking it over! I have found a great little niche in this fandom and I think I'll stay ❤️
> 
> thoughts and critiques much appreciated! ✾◕ ‿ ◕✾
> 
> find me on twitter @candy_harlot


End file.
